Bidding someone farewell is something we all never look forward to.
Sometimes, farewells are by choice and sometimes, time and circumstances demand them. No matter what, they leave this stinging ache in our heart, an agony that may never leave us…
But, do farewells have to always be a cause of pain? Can’t they be bitter-sweet memories that make us happy and sad at the same time?
A few days ago, while looking for a muffler, I found a sweater I used to wear very often as a child. This was one of my favourite sweaters because it looked like a beautiful pink top. Pink was never my favourite colour but I still loved wearing it. The more time I spent looking at it, running my fingers over the carefully woven wool, the more my mind was drawn to the person who bought it.
It reminded me of someone I have lost. I heard the same protective, stern but soothing voice calling my name, telling me to be careful, asking me to hold his hand while walking on the street.
My father’s…
It reminded me of the stories he told me about his life and some of the people he met; the way he used to take charge of the kitchen when he prepared parotta and chicken stew for Christmas.
I remember his laughter that had a ripple effect in our house every evening.
The time right after we lost him to cancer was very difficult to get through. I had seen the vibrant face transition into skin and bones, the laughter into a heart-breaking exhausted smile. I could only remember the pain and helplessness he suffered while fighting for his life. It was such a tough time that the mere mention of it would throw my mind into the vortex of a destructive cyclone. There was no bright side to it.
I have come a long way from then. I now don’t remember the face that had lost its light, but the happy comforting one with a twinkle in the eye. I recall all the happy times we had together and also the fights.
It is mindboggling to see how some people leave such an impact on our life, how they shape our being to be the best versions of ourselves. Even after they leave us, they continue to live in us through their lessons, gifts, letters, etc.
Time and again, I go through his things and find his voice like a sweet whisper in my ears, calling my name, and calming me.
Like sweet summer rain, it brings me the comfort of what was and lets me know that everything will be alright eventually.
All said and done, I miss my father and his memory still moistens my eyes. But these tears are always accompanied by a smile.
We all lose someone or something and it breaks us. However, time is a great healer and you will be able to think of them without feeling the void they left.
So, as this year ends, beautiful people, go find your ‘pink sweater’ and say,
So long, love…
Farewell, maybe…
Jincy Joshua
Full-time Faculty